18: These 5 things won’t help perimenopause weight loss

Struggling to lose weight in perimenopause? If you're doing any of the things we talk about in this episode, you may think you're helping weight loss...but you're not!

If you're sitting there feeling bloated, overweight, and fed up (thanks to crazy hormones in perimenopause!), it's easy to give up and think "well, this is just the way that it is".

The good news is that you can do something about your midlife weight gain!

Listen to this week's episode to learn about 5 things that aren't going to help you lose the weight in perimenopause...and we'll talk about what to do, instead!

You'll walk away with solutions and action steps you can implement TODAY!

Links mentioned, and ways to connect:
- The Supper Club monthly recipes, bonus guides, coaching sessions, and more!
- Get THE solution for perimenopause weight loss with The Method, the only weight loss program for midlife moms

Ashley Malik is a women's health and wellness coach, helping busy moms lose weight in perimenopause. You can learn more, and discover how to work with Ashley, by clicking here!

*** Ready to lose 15 lbs in 10 weeks? The Method gives you all the tools to make it happen! We start April 2nd. To learn more about The Method, click here!

Transcript

Well, hello there, my friend. Thank you so much for coming back today. I am so excited to have you here. You know, I have been talking to quite a few women over the last couple of weeks about this podcast, and I am getting such good feedback. And I just have to tell you, that means so much to me.

I had such a strong desire to create a space where women could get real life and practical information on how to eat healthier, how to make wellness and food easier, and to make sure that your family is taken care of too. And because we know, like we've talked about it in previous episodes, what to feed your family is always a challenge. When you choose to eat a different way, like an anti-inflammatory diet, but

your family doesn't want to eat that way, it can cause a lot of, I call it food chaos in your house. Anyway, I am just really excited that women are finding inspiration and hope here. And hopefully you are really enjoying the episodes and all of the information that you're learning here at The Family Fork

I am always open to understanding what else you need. So if there are other topic ideas or things that you're not hearing that you need to know more about, I would love for you to drop me a message on Instagram at the Ashley Malek and let me know so that I can actually give you more of what you need. Okay, so let's get into today's topic. Today, I want us to talk a little bit about a few things that I think are fairly common, but that don't

actually help you lose weight in perimenopause. We're going to start talking about a couple of things that are more obvious, but then we'll move into some things that you might not be as aware of. Now, honestly, this is all your brain's fault. Sometimes it tries to trick you into thinking that you're doing things that are going to help you lose weight. But when that scale doesn't budge, you can't figure out what's going on.

Truly, I know how this feels. I know that you are probably sitting there right now, feeling desperate for a solution that just works, right? You've seen a lot of solutions. You've tried a ton of different things. And it's really easy to sort of get caught up in your thoughts to say, I really need something that is actually going to work. And...

as in menopause and perimenopause, as that belly fat grows and as we get more weight around our hips and thighs, we do, we grow in desperation to find a solution that really works. So today, what we're gonna do is we're gonna talk about five things that won't help you lose weight and perimenopause. And what we're gonna do is we're gonna sort of talk about each of the things.

And then I wanna tell you a little bit about what that looks like because it might be hiding or not as obvious. Then we're going to talk about what you can do differently so that you can find a solution that is actually going to help you lose weight.

Okay, so let's jump right into it. I want to start with the thing that is most glaringly obvious. Hopefully, you know by now that eating less or reducing your calories and working out more actually doesn't help you lose weight and perimenopause. It is true that some people need to reduce the amount of food that they're eating. I mean, if you're eating like 3500 calories in a day, that might be too much for your body. It's

also true that working out more might be helpful if you're not doing anything at all right now. You're not getting out, you're not walking after breakfast or after lunch or even before dinner, you're not trying to move your body a little bit each day. So yeah, you might need to work out some more. But what we're talking about here, and especially at the time of this recording, we are coming into a new year.

and I see a lot of people talking about reducing calories or I also see these like 1200 calorie diets. This is not going to help you lose weight. Okay, let me repeat that. You need more than 1200 calories even if you're trying to lose weight.

What happens when you are in perimenopause and menopause? When you eat a really calorie restricted diet, your body, it actually freaks out. It's like, my gosh, I'm not getting enough nourishment. I'm not getting the nutrients that I need and I don't have enough energy. So eating fewer calories actually means that you're going to hold on to weight longer. So eating less is just not your answer.

the same thing goes for working out more. So depending on your age, if you're like me, you're a child of the 80s, you might remember that back in the 80s, cardio was queen and working out extra and like standing on the stair master forever, that seemed to be the thing to really lose weight.

But what we know now when you're over 35 or over 40 years old, when you work out too intensely, it increases the amount of cortisol in your body, which increases inflammation. And if you have high cortisol and high inflammation, your body will not release the weight. It just won't happen. So this idea of working out more, you really have to look at what is your baseline.

Maybe you're used to doing like, I don't know, two to three cardio or Zumba sessions or something like that every week. And that's actually really good.

What you can do to increase your chances of losing weight is to get started with some strength training. Now we know that the research shows that when you have more lean muscle, it helps you to lose weight faster because it increases your overall metabolism. And the thing is you can actually lose up to 30 % of your lean muscle mass in menopause. So if you're not

actively working to build more muscle, you're going to lose muscle, which is going to slow your metabolism, which also puts you at greater risk for falling and other things like that as you get older. So we really want to think more about working out in the right ways and having the right amount of calories with very balanced nutrition. When you prioritize your protein and your veggies,

and you add in some healthy carbs and then add your healthy fats on top of that. When you wrap that together with the right kind of workouts that don't increase your cortisol, but are really going to help you build lean muscle, you have the formula that will help you not only lose weight, but will also help you to stay healthier for longer. Because while right now we want to lose weight, really the goal is to be able to age

in a way that's really healthy, keeping us strong and that's sustainable.

Okay, the second thing that I see women trying for losing weight in perimenopause is quick fixes. Now you hear me say that and you think, yeah, I know Ashley, I know quick fixes don't work. They're not sustainable. But I also think that there are a lot of quick fixes out there that are, I don't know what's the phrase, like a wolf in sheep's clothing. We don't even know that we're trying to find a quick fix. So here's what that might look like.

Say you are eating pretty healthy for the most part and you're trying to prioritize your vegetables and add in some protein, but you see an ad for a beverage or a drink that promises to give you better sleep and a more restful sleep at night. and it tastes like hot cocoa. So that sounds pretty great, right? As part of their claims, they say that if you sleep better, then you will reduce your cortisol

and you'll have less inflammation and that is going to help you lose weight. So it's true that when you drink this drink or beverage, that might happen, but it's really like, there's just so much more to it than that. Because again, you are desperate to lose weight or to lose that belly fat and that extra weight that's hanging around your hips and thighs. And it's easy to get enticed by a supplement that has big promises.

sleep better, lose weight. Sounds really easy, right? But this is a hidden quick fix because it's not just about your sleep. If you are sleeping well, but you're eating garbage or you aren't having really nutritious, nutrient dense food, that extra sleep, it's not gonna help you. It might help a little bit, but it's not going to help you lose the weight in the way that you think.

I see this with a lot of women that I work with, that they have questions about very specific supplements. Like, is this one going to help me lose weight or should I take more of this supplement for weight loss?

I see this a lot with women who are looking for hormone replacement therapy, HRT. And it is true that HRT can support your weight loss, but even Dr. Mary Claire Haver, who she wrote the book, The New Menopause, which if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. She even talks about how imperative it is to make sure that you're having adequate nutrition, balanced nutrients, enough food,

that you're strength training and that you're reducing stress. She even says HRT is not a magic solution. It's not going to just instantly help you lose weight and you don't have to do anything else. I've actually had a couple of clients as well who have been on the weight loss injections.

So GLP ones like Ozempic and Wegovi. And I know this can be a really controversial topic, but I actually want to share my thoughts on it. Again, people look to these weight loss injections and think, I'm just going to get this injection once a month, eat a little bit less, and I'll be able to lose weight. Unfortunately, the research is finding that the weight loss injections for women who are using them

those women are actually losing their lean muscle. It's not actually that they're necessarily losing fat. And on top of that, because they're not super hungry, these women aren't necessarily eating the right variety of foods. And they're probably not prioritizing protein, which if they're losing that much lean muscle, it is essential that they're eating way more protein than they think that they need.

So again, if you're looking to these supplements, pills or beverages, injectables or HRT, and you're thinking, that is what I need to lose weight, you have to think again, these quick fixes are not going to help you lose weight. They will support your weight loss goals. I want to be clear about that. They are going to support your goals. But it is also important to have a really easy to manage

nutrition and fitness approach so that when you really want to lose weight, these things are just going to be supportive in your journey.

Alright, number three, if you fail to meal plan in some way, you are going to have a really hard time losing weight in perimenopause.

One of the things I don't know how women do this, but I've worked with a lot of women who tell me that they forget to eat and so therefore they're just actually not eating enough. Or when they eat, it's like seven o'clock at night and they're trying to eat all of their calories then and then they're going to bed on a really full stomach. I don't know. I don't have that problem. I actually love food so much that I eat five times a day, but

I know for sure that if you're not planning what you're going to eat at what time of day, you're not going to feel good. And it's actually not going to help you hit your weight loss goals. I think when we get busy and life gets crazy, we've got meetings or we're running kids back and forth to hockey practice or whatever it might be, it's really easy to lean on what we just talked about, like these quick fixes.

But if you don't have an easy to execute meal plan, what's your alternative? You're probably left with fast food or just picking up something on the go. So if you are really serious about losing weight, it is so important to make sure that you have a plan that works.

like the plans that I have in the supper club, which have you cooking three nights a week. That is it. And there's no weekend meal prep. These are really the kind of plans for busy moms like you who are trying to make sure that you have the right things to eat and have anti-inflammatory foods and have a plan that works with your schedule throughout the week. I'll put a link to the supper club in the show notes in case you want to check that out. But

It is just really, really important every week to make sure that you have a grocery list, you know what you're shopping for, and you know what meals you're eating on what days. And on the topic of planning for your meals, one of the things that I hear from women often is, I don't like to cook.

The reality is that if you are serious about losing weight, you need to learn to cook a few things, just some very basic things. There are a lot of healthy prepackaged items that you can buy. I always find things at Costco like precooked chicken or prepackaged meats that don't include nitrates or additives or preservatives. These are going to be an okay option.

You can also find a lot of pre-cut veggies and frozen veggies, which are going to make your life easier. But if you are really serious about losing weight and taking care of your body for your life, you have to learn to cook a little bit. Okay. And again, this is where the meals in the supper club are so fun because they are easy. They don't include a bunch of weird ingredients. They're not designed to be super involved like

you're not getting gourmet cooking here, but they still taste great and they make food easier. Let's just make it easier all around. If you are failing to meal plan in some way, it is going to be really hard for you to actually lose the weight. So meal planning in some fashion needs to be a priority.

All right, the next thing on our list is that it will be hard for you to lose weight if you have a fixed mindset. I hear this all the time from women who are frustrated and fed up and have pretty much given up. That might even be you. Here's what this looks like. Have you ever heard yourself say, you know what? It is out of my control. It's just my hormones. This is what happens when you get older.

I've completely lost control. This kind of thinking is leaning into your fixed mindset. I was talking with a woman the other day and I could actually feel her frustration because she said, you know, it's just gotten to this point where I don't even care. I'm just gonna eat whatever so that I don't have to feel deprived all the time. And I'm tired of having to say no to the ice cream or the cookie. If I want it, I'm just gonna have it.

However, she had actually come to me because she was feeling really frustrated with the fact that she couldn't lose weight.

Our brains get into this fixed mindset or maybe you might see it like a victim mentality to say, you know what, there's no other way out. There's no other option. Nothing that I've tried has worked and it's not gonna help me. It's just completely out of my control. It's my hormones. I can't do anything about it. But if you stay in this mindset, you're not going to lose weight.

We've talked about this in previous episodes that your mindset is the number one driver for your success in losing weight. I want to repeat that. Your mindset is the number one driver for success in losing weight. The reason is because nutrition takes work. Working out takes work. It takes effort, takes discipline and consistency.

But if your mindset keeps saying to you, I don't know, it's just out of my control, it's my hormones, there's nothing I can do about it. You are going to have a very difficult time putting yourself into the kitchen and making a meal three nights a week. You will have a really hard time getting up in the morning to do a workout that probably doesn't even feel fun in the early days. Or maybe when you're feeling sore, you're not seeing results right away.

Another way this fixed mindset shows up is when I hear women say, I'm too old to do this. I'm too old to lose weight. My time has passed. Or I hear women sometimes say, I'm too young. I'm too young to be in perimenopause. Even though they're like 35 or 40, I promise you, if you're that age, you are already in perimenopause.

The solution here when you're feeling like it's hopeless or you don't have any other way out or the hormones, it's their fault, whatever, the weight gain is out of your control. The solution here is to dig into your mindset and understand what is holding you back. What thoughts are holding you back from making really good choices?

This is something that we explore a lot in the method, which is my program for moms who are desperate to lose weight in perimenopause. We go really deep into understanding how our thoughts are contributing to the choices that we make. And those choices are the thing that actually dictates whether or not we succeed or fail in our weight loss journey. So yeah, it is true that hormones make it

a lot harder or guess lack of hormones right or unbalanced hormones but it's not impossible. I really like sharing that even though I'm 49 I recently lost 10 pounds. I want to show women that it is possible. I see women all across the board. I work with women who are in perimenopause and menopause and who are losing weight.

but it just takes the right mindset. Like I said, this is something we cover deeply in the method and it's what makes this program so, so different because of course it's me. You're getting lots of support with anti-inflammatory nutrition and how to work out and the strategy you need to make it all work together. But the most transformative work comes from figuring out why

your thoughts are keeping you stuck at the weight you're at. And then how we rewire your brain so that you can think differently, have different thoughts, and then lead yourself to make different choices that will actually result in you losing weight.

All right, so on our list of five things that will not help you lose weight in perimenopause, the final thing is thinking that weight loss in perimenopause is just so you can be skinny. Now, I know that this is something that probably hits home for a lot of women. You want to look fit and trim, and maybe you want to fit into smaller shorts or smaller pants. You just want to be comfortable in your own skin.

But unfortunately, this is not usually a good motivator to get you out of bed in the morning. If you were up late the night before working on a presentation for work, or maybe you had a sick kiddo, and you get up in the morning, and the last thing you want to do is work out, just wanting to get skinny isn't going to be enough for you.

What we can do instead is recognize how imperative overall health and wellness is to being able to live longer and happier lives from perimenopause all the way into our 80s. Anti-inflammatory nutrition and building muscles, gaining strength, that has far reaching benefits like better cardiovascular health.

Helping you to sleep better, which we talked about, sleeping better is going to help your health overall. When you have stronger muscles, you actually have a reduced risk of frailty, which when you think about a frail 75-year-old woman, she probably has brittle bones so that when she falls, she's gonna break a bone easily. She's probably not able to get up and down from a chair as easily as she would like. We don't want that. We don't wanna be frail.

We want to be able to be strong and get up off the floor when we're playing with our grandkids. It's not just that you are eating right or working out now to be skinny. It's because you're building health and wellness for your entire body for the rest of your life. Now, I don't know about you, but I turned 50 in just a few months and I know that I wanna live well into my 80s.

I already have a two-year-old granddaughter, she's almost two, and I want to watch her grow up. And I have a six-year-old daughter, and I want to watch her graduate from college. And I definitely don't want to feel like that old lady at graduation. I want to look like a young, vibrant mom for my daughter at her graduation. To me, this is what gets me out of bed in the morning. It's what drives me to make better food choices.

and to make sure that I'm building strength and gaining muscle every week, every month. It's not just to get fit and lean. Yeah, that's a side benefit. And it's okay to want to look good and feel good. You do not have to apologize for wanting to look good in the summer in a bathing suit. That is actually important to me too. But when you prioritize getting out of bed to get your workouts done, making sure you eat the right things,

making good choices and taking care of your sleep, you're truly going to set yourself up for a lifetime of health, wellness and vitality.

As I said in the beginning of this episode, some of these things are just more obvious than others. Of course, you know that quick fixes don't help you lose weight and that eating less and working out more isn't a good solution in perimenopause. But the less obvious things that stop your weight loss are failing to meal plan and being stuck in that fixed mindset. In order to hit your goals on the scale, you need to learn to think

differently, to be flexible and to try new things. Rewiring your brain for flexibility and newness is going to go such a long way in your weight loss journey. It is absolutely great to want to feel fit and lean and healthy, but let's make sure you're doing it in a way that's sustainable and in a way that actually helps you get results.

If you're tired of wasting time by trying to figure it all out on your own, or the things that you've tried haven't worked, let's talk. I want you to reach out to me on Instagram at the Ashley Malik or click the link in the show notes. I know you can lose weight in perimenopause, but sometimes you just need an approach that really truly works for your busy life. And I can definitely help you with that. So I'm excited to hear from you.

and I hope this has been helpful.