53: 3 Steps For Healthy Habits That Stick

Feel like you're lacking "motivation" or "discipline" to build healthy habits?

What if you could build habits that stick without either of those things?

This week, Ashley shares three unconventional tips for building healthy habits, from her 10+ years of experience, that will help you finally create lasting change.

Get ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about building habits and learn how to make them an effortless part of your life, even when it feels like everything is working against you:

📌 Pick ONE Thing (and Stick with It): Stop trying to change everything at once. Learn how focusing on a single, specific habit protects your nervous system from burnout and sets you up for guaranteed success.

📌 Stop Planning, Start Doing: Planning is a form of procrastination that keeps you from taking real action. Ashley challenges you to stop making plans and start doing something today, to build momentum and break the cycle of inaction.

📌 Embrace the Chaos: Stop waiting for the "right time" to start. Ashley shares personal stories of building habits during the most chaotic moments of her life, proving that if you can do it then, it will be effortless when life feels normal.

This episode is the kick in the pants you need to get started today!

More Support For You

✅ Kick-start your healthy eating habit with the fast, easy, and family friendly meals in THIS guide.

✅ Get the perfect workout program here (for less than $10/mo!) The exact programs I used to lose 65 lbs in my late 40s!

Transcript

How many times have you told yourself that you are just not motivated enough to build healthy habits or you just don't even have the discipline? Like you want to have these healthy habits, but you just don't have it in you to make that happen. So what if I told you that you could actually build healthy habits that stick without motivation and without discipline? You'd probably be pretty interested, right?

Now there's lots of conventional wisdom out there around building healthy habits. You know, there's that very popular book called Atomic Habits and they talk about habit stacking where it's like if you're going to floss, you want to brush your teeth first and then floss. That's like putting two common things together and creating a habit out of that. You know, you might read something around creating a routine because having a routine helps you to

stick with your habits more. And then you might also hear, you know, be patient. It takes time to build habits that stick. But today I want to give you some unconventional wisdom that comes from my 10 plus years of building and maintaining healthy habits. It can happen, but I think these are some unique things that will help you to really build habits that stick for you.

So I want you to get ready. You're going to want to grab a pen and paper for sure for today's information. You definitely want to get these three things down because I am giving you three tips towards better, healthier habits.

All right, number one, when it comes to building healthy habits, I want you to pick one thing. You know, I've heard it out there like, well, you just have to start small when you're building habits, but I think that that's too vague. I really want you to focus it and narrow into just picking one thing. Here's what happens when you pick a lot of things to change all at once, your nervous system actually kind of freaks out.

So just think about it. How many times have you actually started a routine to like get in shape, which that in itself is kind of vague, but getting in shape, probably involves eating better and going to the gym. And maybe part of your healthy habit there is just getting less screen time in at night. And so when you look at all of these things in combination, what happens? You fail. And then when you fail,

because you didn't eat healthier or you didn't go to the gym or you kept scrolling on your phone at night, you think in your mind, gosh, I am just lacking discipline. I'm not motivated enough to create these healthy habits.

But here's what's actually going on inside your brain. So your brain is wired to do three different things, avoid pain, seek pleasure and conserve energy. So when your brain thinks, okay, healthy food, I've got to eat much healthier food than what I'm eating right now. Like that actually sounds really painful. Or how about a new workout? No way, that is going to take a lot of energy compared to the amount that you're moving.

today. And then doing a screen detox, I mean, that just probably doesn't bring you any joy at all. So when you try and create all of those habits all at once, you're working against your nervous system when you want to change so many things at one time. It can be very difficult or almost impossible to create healthy habits when your nervous system and your brain feel threatened.

because what you're trying to do might feel painful or it might not bring you joy or it might take a lot of effort. So if you really want to create healthy habits that stick, I want you to pick one, just one thing. And then when you get really good at that one thing, like maybe it's shopping for healthy, you know, like eating healthy. So you're shopping for healthy groceries. When that feels like that's an autopilot or

if you have decided that you're going to wake up and work out in the morning, once you can do that without an alarm and it just happens automatically, only then that's when you are ready to add the next healthy habit.

Alright, so once you have picked your one thing that you're going to focus on, I want you to do something that sounds very counterintuitive. I want you to stop planning.

Planning is honestly a cop out and really it's your way of sort of putting off the thing that you actually want to do.

For your brain, it's actually planning is like tricking your brain because when you are planning to eat healthy meals or you're planning to go to the gym three days a week after work, your brain thinks, well, we're doing something about this habit. We're doing something to create this new healthy activity.

Just by way of planning, lets you truly believe that you are putting effort into that task. But when in actuality, all you're doing is thinking about it.

Think back to like Sunday night and you look ahead at the week and you're like, okay, I am going to go to the gym three days this week and I'm going to do it after work and here's how I'm going to arrange my calendar and my schedule. Okay, I can leave the office at 3.30, no problem. I'll be able to get to the gym and then get home in time to make dinner. Maybe you even like pull out your workout clothes and you put together a gym bag. All of this is good, but none of it,

is working out, none of it. And so what you're doing is you're just letting your brain think, yeah, I'm actually doing something about this new healthy habit that I'm building. Interestingly, planning is also your way of avoiding failure. So if you keep planning to go to the gym and get a workout in three days next week,

you'll never have to know if you're actually capable of starting that new habit.

by planning, sort of keeps you from feeling that bad feeling if you fail because like if you feel like a failure, I planned, I made, you know, all of the arrangements so that I could make it to the gym three nights this week and I didn't make it happen. You feel bad, you feel embarrassed, you feel ashamed or frustrated. And this is when you actually say, see, I have no motivation, I have no discipline. And so,

And so maybe you try and readjust for the next week and you just keep refining that plan. And so that way your brain keeps thinking, well, I'm going to feel accomplished even though you haven't built that habit yet. But the reality is you haven't made it to the gym. You haven't done the workout. You're not building that healthy habit. So being stuck in that planning, it's not beneficial towards actually building the habit. But what is, is getting into action.

The fastest way to start building a healthy habit is to do something. So say you want to cook healthy dinners. Okay, that's great. That's a good one habit to pick. But what I want you to do is go one step further. Give yourself no more than 20 minutes to pick three different recipes for dinner and then go shopping for those and be done with it. That's it. Then you have actually taken action on building that new healthy habit for yourself.

Better yet, here's an idea. Download, I have a free anti-inflammatory meal plan. The recipe's already chosen for you. The shopping list is already provided. The only thing that you have to do is shop. So I've linked to that in the show notes below. So that can save you 20 minutes right there.

Maybe your healthy habit, your one healthy habit is that you want to start working out in the morning. So I want you to stop researching the perfect workout platform. Who has the most different instructors or different types of workouts? What kind of free YouTube options are there? Should you join a local gym? Well, I don't know, maybe you should add some gym equipment to your basement. Do you see how all of that planning is avoiding

doing the workout. So you want to work out in the morning, but none of that has gotten you there. So your action item here is to just walk outside for 20 minutes today. Step out your front door or your office door and go walking for 20 minutes today. Or better yet, go to your basement and lift any dumbbells or weights that you have for just 15 minutes. That's it. Pick them up. Figure out how to move your body. You know how to do a bicep curl. You know how to do a squat. You don't need anything to tell you.

what to do. If you're trying to build the healthy habit, just take action.

If you want to start working out in the morning, here's a better yet. Ask me about the online fitness library that I use every single day. And I have used it for years. And I can even recommend the exact program that you should start with. Problem solved. There's no planning required. I can tell you exactly what to do, exactly where to get started. Once you get into the action of actually doing something for your healthy habit,

Only then can you reassess and sort of refine what you need to do so that you are sticking with that healthy habit. But until you get into action, you can't do any refinement. You can't reassess if that healthy habit is working or the steps that you're taking are working for you to build that healthy habit that sticks. You have to get into the action. So I want you to stop planning and start doing something.

All right, number three, this one is going to sound crazy, but I promise it works. I want you to build your new healthy habit when life feels most chaotic. Our brains really like to think that, I'll start a new habit when the holidays are over or summer break is done. When you're home from vacation, when the kids go back to school, when life slows down, I hear that one all the time. Well, I'll just get started as soon as life slows down.

When was the last time your life slowed down? It doesn't happen. It's not realistic. So what would happen if you successfully built just one new habit when your life was completely bananas?

Here are a couple examples for you. So at the time of this recording, I am recovering from breast cancer. And the one habit that I'm building right now is that I am getting up with my alarm and I'm not pressing snooze.

When I was recovering from my hysterectomy a couple of years ago, that's when I built the habit of weighing my food because I knew that was something that I wanted to get into and that's the time in life that I started doing it. Yes, I should be recovering and resting and taking care of my bodies while I'm recovering from breast cancer, while I'm recovering from a hysterectomy. But here's the thing, if I can build these habits when my schedule is off,

my health is less than ideal. Can you just imagine how easy it is to build and keep those habits when life is good?

Honestly, you have failed in building your healthy habits before because you either started when your life was just right or you planned for those habits to, you know, kick off when everything was perfect, but that is not life.

As a mom, you are thrown constant curve balls. You have schedule changes. Life is never perfect. It's never ideal. It's never the right time for starting something new. you know, I often laugh that in my 24 years of raising kids, almost every single time I've taken a day off,

Just for me to do nothing, to bake cookies, to hang out, to watch Netflix, anything, undoubtedly one of my kids gets sick and has to stay home every single time. So if you can build your healthy habit when your life is chaotic or really like the least perfect moment, you are going to be wildly successful with that healthy habit.

when your life does feel good and easy and effortless.

So here it is, whatever day you are listening to this episode, this is the day that you should pick one healthy habit.

Just one, you're going to pick one single healthy habit that you want to kick off. You're going to stop planning for it. You're going to stop thinking about what your life would look like if you had that healthy habit. You're going to stop.

You're going to stop putting it into your calendar or planning ahead. And instead you're going to get into action. And then you're going to recognize that if your life does not feel ideal and perfect and calm and restful right now, this is the best time to build a habit. Okay. I would be so curious to hear from you. What habit are you starting today? So,

Drop me a message over on Instagram at theashleymalik or.

or send me an email, ashley@ashleymalik.com I want to know what habit you are starting today, just the single habit. I want to know what action you are taking and I want to know what kind of chaos is going on in your life that you are going to overcome and still build that healthy habit.

I hope today's episode was the kick in the pants that you needed to get going on building some new healthy habits. I can't wait to hear which healthy habit you have chosen and I look forward to seeing you back here next week.