59: 5 Biggest Health Mistakes I've Made (So You Don't Have To)

Feeling like you're stuck in a cycle of "I've tried everything, but nothing works"? I hear you, and honestly, I've been there myself.

For over a decade, I've been on a health journey, and while I've done a lot of healing and made a bunch of changes, I've also made a ton of mistakes.

The thing is, mistakes are part of the game! If you want to see different results with your health, you have to be willing to try something different, even if it doesn't work out perfectly.

In this episode, I'm taking you behind the scenes and sharing the 5 biggest mistakes I've made on my health and wellness journey over the past 11 years:

• How I learned that "mindset" isn't just some kind of woo woo, but the most impactful driver of your results.
• The truth about supplements: Why a pill won't save you and what you need to focus on instead to get to the root cause of your health issues.
• How I learned the hard way that you can't outrun a poor diet, and how to know when it's time to be honest with yourself about what you're eating (or drinking).
• Excuses vs. accountability: The most surprising way you can start making progress by recognizing when you're making excuses, even when you don't realize it.

This episode is your permission slip to stop beating yourself up about past failures and start learning from them. I'm sharing the honest truth about what it really takes to feel strong, confident, and in control of your health, especially in perimenopause.

More Support For You

🙋‍♀️ Work with Me
🍳 How I Cook Just 3 Nights/Week
🧠 Mindset Framework for a concrete solution to "working on your mindset"
📌 Connect on Instagram

Transcript

Hello there, my friend, and welcome back to this week's episode of The Family Fork. You know, I have been working on my health consistently for the last 11 years. And if you've been around a while, you know my story, but I really started because I could not lose weight. I had terrible brain fog. I these really sore joints, like all throughout the day. And then I had this constant all-day exhaustion.

but I couldn't sleep. I was really not feeling well. And in that 11 years, I have learned so much. I have been able to do a lot of things. I've been able to heal my gut health issues, which were driving a lot of the symptoms that I was experiencing. I have put my autoimmune disease, my Hashimoto's in remission. And even currently today, I am now supporting my body through breast cancer treatment, but

Along that journey, I have also made a ton of mistakes.

And what I've learned probably most of all is that you have to, if you want to improve, you have to be able to make some mistakes because some things are going to work and some things just won't work for you. So today I want to share five of the biggest mistakes that I've made in my health and my wellness journey and really tell you about what I've learned and

kind of what I do differently or how you can learn from these mistakes. All right, you ready?

So the, I think biggest and most impactful mistake that I made for so many years is that I underestimated the impact of mindset and a calm nervous system.

For years and years and years, I was always complaining and I know you have said this too. I have tried everything to lose weight, get better sleep, stop having sore joints, stop having brain fog, stop having bloating and nothing works. So if you have said that, I've tried everything and nothing works, mindset is your next step to tackle.

The reason this is important and you'll hear me talk about mindset through the rest of this episode, it truly trickles down to everything that you do. If you are always trying to find the next best thing or the next easiest step, your body will never feel calm or safe. Your body can hear you and when you're saying, ⁓ you know, this doesn't feel right or this isn't working, you're not.

telling your body that you are safe right where you are. You're always seeking something more, more energy, more sleep, more weight loss. And as a result of that, your body, it does not feel at rest. This is why, this is a topic that I cover so deeply in The Method, which is my group coaching program. You know, I had a client say to me recently that working on her mindset,

has helped her to see exactly why she was stuck on her weight loss journey. And in the method, I provide a very concrete framework because it's one thing to say, well, work on your mindset. And for me, for a long time, I was like, well, how, how do I do that? So in the method, you get a framework that teaches you exactly how to dig into why you are stuck, why you're

quote unquote, trying everything and nothing's working. When your body is calm and your nervous system feels safe, you will be amazed that things start to unlock. You'll find that it's easier to come up with creative solutions to challenging problems like why you're not losing weight or why you struggle to stick to your nutrition. That's not a food issue, it's a mindset issue. So when you start to calm your body,

your cortisol also decreases and.

And as a result, your body leaves that constantly stressed state. And as your cortisol decreases, guess what? So does your inflammation. And when that inflammation comes down, you sleep better. You have less brain fog. And believe it or not, you'll drop a few pounds on the scale. So whenever I find that I start to struggle and I go back to that thinking of like, ⁓ nothing is working. I always go back to mindset.

before thinking about resetting my nutrition or my workouts. I really, just use that straightforward framework that I teach in the method. And it helps me to see where my thoughts are creating my results. And then that gives me a starting point to work from.

It really did take me quite a few years, but I now understand that mindset is the biggest driver in your results when it comes to health and wellness. It literally drives everything, being able to stick to your nutrition, getting your walks and your workouts in and being positive along the journey, whether things are turning out for you or not. truly mindset drives everything.

So again, you'll probably hear me mention mindset throughout the rest of this episode because it's woven into everything you do and it's just so impactful. So let's look at mistake number two. Supplements will not save you. my gosh. I spent so many years looking for the right supplements for my gut health or supplements for more energy, for weight loss, for getting rid of my brain fog.

Until one day I realized as I was filling my pill boxes every Sunday night, like I still do, but I realized I was taking 16 different supplements and medications every day.

Can you relate to this? That you just start stacking one thing on top of the next. You know, you're not sleeping well? Okay, you're gonna try some magnesium. Not pooping? Okay, you're gonna try a fiber supplement. Not losing weight? ⁓ okay, let's try a fat burner. But what I quickly learned is that I had to figure out why. Why wasn't I sleeping? Why wasn't I going to the bathroom regularly? Why wasn't I losing weight?

And so instead of looking for a bunch of supplements to try and heal all of my challenges and my problems, I really started digging into what my root cause was, which is really how functional medicine works. Functional medicine looks at, okay, if you have brain fog, for example, why do you have brain fog? If you go to a conventional doctor, just like our regular Western medicine,

They're gonna say, you have brain fog, let's give you a pill for that. But functional medicine looks at the root cause. What's going on inside of your body that's driving that brain fog?

And it's such a unique way to look at medicine because if you think about it, supplements, they're just like a bandaid. They're covering up the problem for a little while and maybe it goes away, but usually that problem comes back.

You know, right now there's a lot of conversation and talk around hormone replacement therapy, HRT, and this is the same thing. In perimenopause, I know you are looking for that thing that will help you to have more energy and stop being so anxious or stop having...

or stop being so snappy at your partner and your kids. It is true, yes, HRT is helpful for many, many women, but it does not fix poor lifestyle choices like drinking too much wine or not moving your body enough. When it comes to weight loss, everyone wants an easy fix for this. that honestly, so that you don't have to do that hard work.

I've shared this story before, but a couple of years ago, I was really, really frustrated and struggling with this weight loss plateau. And again, I started thinking like, nothing's working for me. So I started diving into supplements. Instead of looking at that root cause, I didn't just buy a supplement, I bought some fat burners. And when that bottle arrived, I started reading the label and I actually freaked myself out.

I couldn't believe that I was considering putting that into my body after all the work I had done on my health just because I wanted to lose weight because I was so stuck.

But when I read the warning labels and the heart problems and the thyroid issues and the headaches, there were so many warnings, it totally freaked me out. So that bottle of fat burners, I never returned it. They sit unopened on my nightstand as a reminder to me every day that quick fixes like supplements and pills, they are not going to give lasting results. And even worse,

they could come with a host of side effects.

So I really encourage you to dig for your root cause, work with a functional practitioner if you're struggling, get some testing done. It does feel different than Western medicine, but it actually gets you to the root cause of like, why am I struggling with some of these health issues? Piling supplement on top of supplement, it's going to do more harm than good. And it can also leave you with a very expensive pill box and one.

that you might not even feel better as a result of.

So those supplements, they're not gonna save you. You need to look for the root cause instead.

Now, along the same lines of just trying to use supplements to help yourself feel better, another mistake that I learned is that you really can't outrun the impact of a poor diet or even a mediocre diet. So as you get older, it is a sad but true reality that you have to be more dialed in with your nutrition.

if you want all the things, if you want good sleep and flexible joints and strong muscles and lots of energy and a really fit and strong physique.

No amount of supplements or peptides, training, walking, none of it will cover up the effects of subpar nutrition. Shortly after I had Suraya who she's almost seven now, I was struggling with so many health challenges. I really had gained a lot of weight. I had this terrible fatigue all day. I had thyroid issues. I had really dry hair and it was falling out.

I was struggling with perimenopause, had bloating, it so much. And I kept training, and I kept changing up my training plan. I started walking more. And again, I started looking for supplements or pills that might help with some of the things I was struggling with. But when I took a very long and honest look at my nutrition, I saw exactly why I was struggling.

Because yet again, I felt like I was trying everything, working out and eating healthy and doing my best to get sleep. But within my realm of healthy eating, I actually started counting how many Starbucks drinks I was having every week. It was a lot. And then I took a look at my alcohol. There were so many drinks every week.

And then there was the quantity and the balance of food. I was eating a lot of healthy foods, but I was filling up on a lot of healthy fats. And I was actually staying away from carbs because at that time I thought carbs weren't good for me and it wasn't working. So it takes time to dial in your nutrition. And I hear this from a lot of women, like, I just can't dial in that nutrition. It's not always fun.

And honestly, sometimes it requires that you have to take some things out like sugar and alcohol. But if you are really honest with yourself and you're tired of feeling the way that you do, you know what? It's time to make some sacrifices because feeling this way, it's just not sustainable anymore. know, beating yourself up for not being able to do it or figure it out. That kind of shame is only going to make you feel worse.

you need to do the hard work to fix your nutrition, like really fix your nutrition. And I promise you, with the right mindset and fixing your nutrition and not relying on those supplements, you are going to see the huge impact, positive impact that this has in every other area of your life.

Now, speaking of being honest about nutrition, one of the bigger mistakes that I've made over the years is not being honest with myself about a lot of things.

And if I really dig deep, I've made a lot of excuses, which is really a way of saying that I just wasn't holding myself accountable for my own choices. I talk a lot about this in episode 57. So I really encourage you to go back and relisten to that episode. I spent a lot of time blaming outside circumstances for my health issues, you know, that I had a thyroid or an autoimmune issue.

that I had a cervical cancer scare, that I have breast cancer, that I wasn't able to lose weight. But what I actually needed to do was recognize when I was making excuses or when I was not holding myself accountable for my own choices.

It all changed and I saw some really big changes when I started working with someone else. At first it was a mindset coach and then I started working with a therapist and my gosh, so eye opening to hear what other people see when you share your struggles and your challenges. Because when we say it, know, ⁓ I just, can't get sleep and it's all because of perimenopause. We believe that to be true. So,

It doesn't always feel good when we hear what someone else has to say. We kind of feel called out. But if you take a few minutes to really evaluate their feedback, it can really result in some big changes.

I share this a lot that I struggle with this ongoing belief that nothing ever works out for me no matter how hard I try. I had applied this phrase to my inability to lose weight. But when I looked at my nutrition, like we just talked about, I looked closely at the drinking. Not only was drinking hurting my body,

I mean, alcohol, it's a toxin and your liver doesn't know how to process it all. But here's the kicker. Drinking was adding close to 2000 calories a week, a week. So sure, I could really try and say that like I was doing everything to lose weight. But in reality, I was just making excuses because I didn't want to stop drinking. And it wasn't that I wanted to stop, I didn't want to stop drinking.

I didn't want to stop the lifestyle and the friend group and the fun that I had while I was drinking because I didn't think that there was an alternative for me.

And again, all of that goes back to mindset. So it is really imperative for you to find a trusted coach or a therapist. This is why I love doing the work that I do with women in the method, because I'm able to help them identify excuses using a very straightforward framework. Because again, you need to know that how do I identify my excuses? You need a framework for that in order to be successful.

I saw it for myself and I see it with the women that I work with. When you get support and feedback from a trusted mentor or a coach, you can more easily recognize your own excuses. And then that's when you can start making progress.

And finally, a mistake that I didn't even know I was making until I got support this year was not lifting heavy enough. We have talked about in previous episodes, this big importance that's placed on building muscle in midlife. You'll want to go back and listen to episode 56 to hear more about how building muscle is like your midlife blueprint. So,

this year for many years, I've been lifting and I was making a lot of progress in my own home gym and I was actually feeling really good. Like people would compliment my arms because those were the muscles that were really showing up.

And I just kept thinking, you know, I should be able to make more progress, but I don't know. Maybe I don't have the body type for it. Ugh, did you hear it? That was an excuse. I caught myself with that excuse again. But this year I started working with a physique coach, Jenny, and she was really kind and gentle, but then she would push me when it felt right. And one day she said,

you know what, Ashley, I'm looking over your weights and what you're telling me that you're doing. You can lift more than this." And I was like, really? No, like, this is heavy for me. I thought I was doing as much as I could. But there I was giving into my own excuses, believing that like I was already lifting heavy enough already. I didn't even think that I could lift more.

So with my trusted coach, I tried it. And guess what? I have practically doubled the weights that I was lifting six months ago. That's huge.

And maybe it's borrowing belief from someone else, which is again, why it's so important to work with someone else. Or maybe it's that someone sees your potential that you're kind of ignoring or making excuses so that you can't actually reach your potential. So this is my nod to you right now. I see that you are picking up those dumbbells. I see that you are putting on that weighted vest to go for your walk.

But here is what I wanna tell you. I want you to go heavier. I want you to test into tiny increments. How much heavier can you go? I don't want you to get hurt, but I know that you can lift heavier. And then I want you to come back and tell me how much more are you lifting? What are you capable of after borrowing my belief in you? Because the result for you is going to be a stronger body

that will age better and will be able to fight off inflammation and disease more than before. I promise you, it is so worth it. Go lift heavier.

Making mistakes honestly is part of the game. I mean, don't we teach this to our kids? We encourage them to learn from their mistakes and to choose differently the next time, but we don't do this for ourselves. As we get older, we avoid making mistakes as a way of staying safe and secure. If we don't mess up, then nothing bad will happen. But you know what? Eventually you learn that the only way to make progress

to be able to see different results with your health and your wellness is to try something different, whether it works out or not. Hopefully the mistakes that I have made over the last 11 years have given you something to think about. I'm curious how many of these mistakes are you making too? I promise you're not alone, but now you have the inspiration and the tools to start tackling these mistakes.

so that you can start seeing those different results and outcomes. Thanks so much for joining me this week and I will see you right back here next week on the Family Fork.