66: Pop Quiz: Why You Can't Lose Weight In Perimenopause

Raise your hand if you've tried everything in perimenopause to lose weight, but nothing works? You’re tracking your steps, eating salads, maybe even choking down dry chicken and broccoli for dinner. Believe me, I get it! I've been there, and I hear this same frustration from busy, midlife moms every single day.

As we creep into perimenopause and beyond, losing weight becomes a whole new ballgame...it is harder, but not impossible!

While you think you’ve tried every single thing, the truth is that your brain can be sneaky! It can actually blind you to simple, available solutions you haven't even given a fair shot.

In this episode, I’m giving you a much-needed kick-in-the-pants with a Pop Quiz! I’ve identified 10 major reasons that are likely stopping your weight loss, even when you think you’re doing everything perfectly.

We’re turning that frustration into data, my friend, because once you know the why, you can finally figure out the HOW. We're diving into the nutrition, the workouts, and the most crucial part: the mindset shifts you need to make healthy habits effortless. Grab a pen and paper, keep score as you listen, and don't forget to grab the printable quiz (link below!) so you can truly own your results.

What You'll Learn:

⭐️ Wrong Plan, Wrong Results: Why your go-to meal plans and recipes from the internet are actually promoting inflammation and making the scale creep up, not down .

⭐️ Planning Is Procrastination: How collecting endless recipes and meal plans is just your brain's sneaky way of avoiding the real work (and what to do instead!) .

⭐️ The Hard-to-Swallow Pill: Why "following your meal plan" Monday through Friday is derailing your efforts the rest of the week.

⭐️ The Biggest Miss: Why having the "right" meal plan isn't enough, and why understanding your mindset is the true secret weapon to lifelong weight loss .

Links mentioned and ways to connect:

📌 FREE Quiz: Why You Can't Lose Weight in Perimenopause
📌 Free 21-Day Anti-Inflammatory Meal Plan
📌 Work with Me
📌 How I Cook Just 3 Nights/Week
📌 Mindset Framework to Stop Relying On Motivation
📌 Connect on Social

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Transcript

Ashley (00:14)
All right, I want you to raise your hand. If you have ever said, I have tried everything to lose weight, but nothing works. You're eating salads for lunch and you're tracking your steps and you're probably even trying to squeeze in a workout after work, after you leave the office or on the weekends. And maybe you're even suffering through dry chicken and broccoli for dinner. It is so frustrating if you're doing all of the right things.

Why isn't the weight going anywhere?

I promise if you feel this way, you are not alone. I have definitely felt this way before and I hear it from students and clients all the time. As we get older and especially as we creep into perimenopause and beyond, losing weight can become more challenging. But sometimes there's more that we can do to kickstart weight loss, but our brain is being kind of sneaky. It can actually make it

hard for us to see what other solutions and options are out there that we haven't even tried yet.

So today we are gonna do a pop quiz. Are you ready for this? I have identified 10 reasons that are likely stopping you from losing weight, even if you think you're doing all of the right things. And I wanna go through each one with you.

you are gonna wanna keep score as we go through this quiz. And I've also added a link in the show notes so that you can print out the quiz and tally up your score. Because at the end of this, I wanna know what your score is.

It's not necessary to print the quiz before you listen to this episode. Just stick with me here, listen, and then when you get to a place that you can, go ahead and print out the quiz and look at your scores again.

Now with this quiz, what you wanna do is give yourself one point for every statement that feels true for you. So there's gonna be a total of 10 possible points.

All right, so let's jump right into it. Number one, the meal plan and the recipes that you are using are not specific for your health needs. So I know I've been in this place too. You've probably gone on the internet and you found a bunch of recipes that you thought would help you lose weight or maybe they even promise weight loss. And they looked really good and they looked easy too. So that was a bonus. So you just kind of went with it. You printed off the meal plan or the recipes.

The problem is that if you have a unique health condition, like being in perimenopause or maybe you even struggle with perimenopause and thyroid issues, there is a strong likelihood that you're also struggling with inflammation. And what's really very frustrating is that if you have systemic inflammation, it can actually show up on the scale as added weight.

So if those recipes, that meal plan that you've grabbed from the internet, maybe they're promising weight loss, but if they include things like gluten and dairy, which are inflammatory, they're not gonna help you lose weight. And even worse, sometimes the other ingredients in those recipes are going to promote more inflammation, like sugar, seed oils, maybe even nightshades, which are things like tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants.

I want you to give yourself one point if the meal plan and the recipes that you have are not specific to your health needs in perimenopause. Okay, number two, you have collected a ton of meal plans and recipes, but you're not using them. Do you feel called out on this? I know, I get it. But trust me, you're just not alone in this.

If you just take a peek right now in your kitchen cabinet or even in the downloads folder of your computer, or take a look at your Pinterest boards, let's be honest, how many recipes and meal plans do you really have? A lot, right? We like to think that if we keep gathering some more information that we're gonna get to the goal we're looking for, which probably is weight loss. But the reality is that

more information, it's just not going to help you lose weight. You think that you're doing something to kickstart the weight loss by gathering all of those healthy recipes, but if you are not actually using them, you're not going to get very far.

This is a really interesting area where your brain likes to trip you up because your brain will lead you to believe that with all of this planning and thinking ahead about the meals, you're getting all those recipes, like you're doing the thing, right? But unfortunately, those recipes, they're not going to cook themselves. So you need to give yourself a point if you are guilty of collecting a lot of meal plans and recipes, but you're not.

actually utilizing them.

Number three, you are not learning how to cook for the long term.

I know that our lives have led us to this place where we just believe everything should be quick and easy. But the sad truth is that you don't have an easy button in your kitchen.

If you are really serious about taking good control of your health and your wellness, you have to learn how to cook even just a few basic things. And this is especially true if you're in perimenopause. You need to be in complete control of what you eat. Losing weight, it can be more challenging as we get older. So knowing how to cook for yourself is going to be one of the biggest keys to your success.

with a really good meal plan and sometimes very specific recipes, you'll actually learn how to cook the right meals for your needs where you are today. And what's really great about that is that it gives you freedom later on so that you have more flexibility in cooking what you like and what your family likes, not always just following a recipe. So if you are not learning how to cook,

or you're just constantly looking for an easy button, I want you to give yourself a point.

All right, number four, you are not following your meal plan. Now this is kind of a tough pill to swallow, so stick with me. You went out on the internet and you found this meal plan that promised you weight loss. You're like, cool, I am gonna do that. I'm just gonna follow that meal plan. And maybe you are, you're cooking some of the recipes from there and some of them taste really good.

And you're also kind of learning how to modify for what you and your family both need. But maybe you're only following that meal plan Monday through Friday. And on the weekends, you're not paying attention to what you're eating. You're kind of grazing, maybe you're snacking on your kids' snacks, and maybe you're having some cocktails.

So let's say, for example, you chose an anti-inflammatory meal plan and you're trying to cut out dairy as a part of that plan. So you're looking at some dairy-free options, like let's say dairy-free yogurt, for example. Well, the one that you have found, it's flavored with vanilla. But when you look at the ingredients, you turn it around and you look at the list, it actually has a lot of added sugar. So.

that's not actually following the meal plan that was set out for you because even though you're choosing a dairy free option, there's tons of sugar inside of flavored yogurt and sugar is also inflammatory.

In order to lose weight, you have to follow the meal plan that you have and you have to follow it all the days of the week. I know this can sound really challenging in the beginning, but if you're not losing weight and you're wondering why, I know that this is a very common place where women get caught in this trap of thinking, you know, I am following the meal plan, but you forget that you're adding in a bunch of ingredients.

and things that are derailing your efforts overall.

or when you have that meal plan, but you're only following it for lunch and dinner and you're eating off plan for breakfast, or you're not following that meal plan on the weekends, it's not going to work for you. So give yourself a point if you fall into this category. And if you're giving yourself a point, I also want you to give yourself some grace because you're starting to see like now you know better, you know that there are areas where you can dig in, so you also can do better.

Okay, number five, the recipes and the nutrition approach that you have are not realistic for your life.

So years ago, actually over a decade ago, when I was getting started on my health journey, I met with a nutritionist and she told me that I needed to cook and eat fresh liver three times a week and that I needed to make my own bone broth. I just looked at her like I was a deer in headlights because at that time in my life, I was a single mom.

I was working more than 60 hours a week. I was commuting two hours a day and I was traveling. There was no way I had time to cook fresh liver, let alone even figure out how to cook it or to make my own bone broth. I did not have time for that. So think about the meal plan or a particular diet that you are trying to follow. You know the foods that you should be eating and you...

like understand the meals that are going to help your body to feel better. But is that plan realistic to your schedule and your obligations? Because if it's not, you are not going to stick with that plan and then you're not going to lose weight.

This is exactly why all of the meal plans that I developed, and I even, have a free one for you in the show notes, so you can go grab it there, but they're all designed for midlife moms who are busy and who need to eat healthy for themselves, but also need to feed a family. Your plan has to be realistic to your schedule and your life.

So if this is you that you have plans or recipes or a diet plan, but it's not realistic to your life, I want you to give yourself a point.

Number six, you don't have any way to ask questions or get support with your specific meal plan or diet. So I get it. It is super easy to go on the internet and find a weight loss meal plan or even an anti-inflammatory plan. And a free download is great. But here's the deal. If you have questions, is there somebody that you can turn to? If you are struggling to lose weight and

say you've decided to start with an anti-inflammatory diet, you are going to have some questions. You definitely will. And you know, maybe you just need some help changing up the ingredients or maybe you're curious about a particular substitution. Like does this qualify as an anti-inflammatory substitution? But if you don't have one person to ask, you are going to be stuck. You're going to be spending a lot of time Googling and trying to get your answer.

and that can feel really frustrating and can actually derail you from your progress.

So if you have a diet plan or recipes or meal plans, but you don't have someone who can answer your questions or give you support, give yourself a point.

Okay, we are getting close. So how are you doing on your pop quiz so far? Are you keeping track of your points? All right, let's move on to number seven. Let's keep going. Number seven, you don't have any idea what portion sizes you should eat. Now, believe it or not, you can overeat healthy food. I'm looking at you avocados. So I worked for a while in this office building in downtown Denver.

And there was this wonderful little salad bar, like restaurant style place on the main floor. And I would go there every single day. This salad bar had so many delicious choices and everything was super fresh and good. And it all looked so healthy. So I would just fill up on everything. And my salads, they were huge. And

And at that time, I would also pick up some extra dressing because the salads were so big, I needed more dressing to cover it all. And back then it was probably blue cheese because that used to be my favorite type of dressing. So salad, of course, can be a great choice when you're trying to lose weight, but it can still be too much. And you can, like I said, fill up on too many things like avocados that are really high in fat. So when you're eating an anti-inflammatory diet, it is

very important to get the right balance of foods because

Because when you do this, like sometimes I see women and they start an anti-inflammatory diet and they start eating a lot of carbs because you like almond flour or nut-based baked goods because they're like, ⁓ it's gluten-free and it's not using wheat flour. So you make this assumption that because it's not inflammatory, you can kind of eat what you want. But the reality is that you need a very good balance of macronutrients.

And when you dial in the right amount of foods that are anti-inflammatory, you are going to be full. You will have fewer cravings and you will finally start to lose weight. You won't feel this need to overindulge in a huge salad with high fat or maybe inflammatory ingredients or dressings. You won't have that major craving for all of the gluten-free baked goods.

When the inflammation in your body goes down, so do your cravings and so does the number on the scale. That's great news, right? So I want you to give yourself a point if you are probably eating more than you should, even if it's healthy food, or you're eating too much of one thing, like too many carbs and not enough veggies.

Alright, number eight, your workouts are not working for you. Now I typically work with two different kinds of women, women who are doing too much when it comes to workouts or women who aren't doing enough. Sometimes I'll work with a client who is still really caught up in that mentality of like 90s cardio. The more I do, the better. know, workouts like running and stair master and Zumba.

All of those things are really intense. And when you do that kind of intense workout, it increases your levels of cortisol. When you increase your cortisol too much and for prolonged periods of time, your inflammation also increases and you're going to see this as a higher number on the scale. So if the number on the scale won't go down, it could be because of the type of the exercise that you're doing.

Now, on the other hand, the majority of the women that I work with aren't actually working out enough. I know it is not fun to admit this to yourself, but not moving your body enough is going to contribute to the fact that you cannot lose weight. You have to move enough every single day in order to burn calories. And for those of you, again, who sort of grew up in diet culture like I did in the eighties,

Reducing calories is not enough. We have to have a balance. So when it comes to not increasing inflammation through exercise, you're kind of looking for this Goldilocks amount. It has to be the right balance of workouts to see progress, but not so much that you're increasing that inflammation in your body.

My favorite workout for midlife women is hands down strength training because it builds muscle which allows you to burn fat even while you're not working out but it doesn't spike your cortisol for a long period of time which could increase inflammation. So I want you to give yourself a point if your workouts are not working for you either because they're too intense or more likely because you're not moving your body enough.

Number nine, your meal plan and your recipes and your approach are not intended for the long term.

So I wonder if you have ever in desperation, because I know I've done this, but in desperation, if you've ever tried a really specialized diet or like nutrition approach. So I'm thinking something like FODMAP, like low FODMAP, or maybe you've tried AIP, which is the autoimmune protocol. Both of those are very intense.

Maybe you've even done like an elimination diet or maybe you've even tried you know keto or intermittent fasting. Most of these approaches are not meant to be forever. Now I don't want to get into keto or intermittent fasting today. These are not approaches that I recommend for women who are trying to reduce inflammation. Reason being these diets tend to increase inflammation because they can actually

like create stress on your body. And honestly, that's just going to make it harder for you to lose weight.

But as for those other approaches like low FODMAP or an elimination diet, I know that you probably have like this desperation to lose weight and you think that one of these diets is going to get you there, but you cannot eat that way forever. And eventually you're going to have to reintroduce some of the foods that you took out. And that can be so hard to do if you're not working with a specialized practitioner. So,

If you have ever tried to follow a diet that isn't really meant for the long term, I want you to give yourself one more point.

All right, number 10, you're not losing weight because you need to understand why you're not using the meal plans, the recipes, the approaches that you have in front of you. Really, this is where mindset work comes in. And truly, I think that this is the biggest thing that most women miss. You have to ask yourself, what is holding me back from trying this new recipe or trying this new

plan or diet or approach. I want you to really consider when you look at a meal plan in front of you, what feelings come up for you when you want to try a new recipe or a new dish. But then in the end, you and your family both think it's kind of gross. Like I remember one night many years ago, but shortly after I got divorced, I tried a new recipe. And when I was married the first time, I wasn't the cook in my family, but

I was a single mom at this point, so I had to learn how to cook. And I made something one night and my son Jack and I took one bite of this meal and it was awful. It was so bad. So we spit it out and went out for takeout. But I do remember thinking back then, you know what? I've never been a good cook. And at that time I only knew how to make two different casseroles. So I really did worry that I was never going to figure this out.

I was never going to figure out how to make good meals that both Jack and I would love and that would be good for me where I was with my health journey.

Maybe you can relate to this. Maybe you think that you're a terrible cook too, or maybe you're just really only willing to make something if it's like super, super easy. So what's going on here is that this is your brain's way of keeping you from doing something that might be hard at first. Because what happens when we do something hard that we've never done before? We fail, right? And that doesn't always feel good.

Interestingly, your brain only has a few jobs and one of those is to conserve energy. So if your brain thinks, my gosh, this recipe, this looks way too hard, then you're probably gonna lead yourself to think, you know what, I'm just not even gonna try this recipe anyway, it's just gonna be too much. But think about what you tell your kids. The more you practice, the more time you put into something, the easier things get, right?

So it's possible that what you need to lose weight is some healthy recipes and a meal plan that works for your lifestyle. But you have to be in a mindset to be able to try those recipes and try to just give it a go, even if you fail, even if it doesn't work the first or second or third time.

I often say if all you needed was the right meal plan or quote unquote the right workout, you would have lost weight by now.

From my own experience and from working with hundreds of midlife women, I can tell you that the right mindset is actually the thing that you have been missing all along.

Okay, so give yourself a point if you can recognize that you are really struggling to figure out why it's so hard for you to stay consistent or stick to these plans.

And that is the end of your quiz. So I want to know what is your point total? I'd love for you to just pop me a message on Instagram @theashleymalik and let me know how many did you get?

So you're probably wondering, but the higher the point total you have, the more areas of opportunity you have to dial in your nutrition, your workouts, and for getting into the right mindset to keep all of that rolling consistently. Now, I do not want you to feel badly about your point total if it's five or seven or even 10, because look at it like this, it's just data.

After doing this quiz, now you know that there are some areas for you to work on and you have some data to point to some reasons of why you haven't been able to lose weight. So hopefully this pop quiz wasn't as bad as the ones that we used to do in high school, but perhaps it gave you some new insights about your nutrition and weight loss. And if you are one of those women that says, I am trying everything to lose weight and nothing ever works,

Look at these 10 reasons and again the higher the point total the more opportunities you have to really improve your relationship with nutrition and food and losing weight.

So remember, there's a link to a printable quiz in the show notes. I want you to go check that out.

I also put a link to a free 21 day anti-inflammatory meal plan that is easy, delicious, and is built to work into your life as a busy midlife mom.

It is also designed to kickstart weight loss. So be sure to grab the printable quiz and get that free 21 day meal plan.

The food you eat, how much you eat, and how you feel about it is ultimately going to predict whether or not you're able to lose weight, especially in perimenopause. So I really feel like it is my goal to help you learn to be okay with taking control of what you eat, how much you eat, and how much you move your body. Because once you realize that the choices

that you make are what's going to get you to your goal, you are going to be unstoppable.